o'hare to san fran

...i arrived to o'hare with about an hour before my flight was to take off, with what was supposed to be only a checked bag and a carry on. easy. until i realzied the carry on didn't meet standards of the size. i took it upon myself to not pay another $20 and make this more as a game and see if i couldn't just smuggle past the crazy rule stickler flight attendand. i managed, and arrived to seat 28k before there was anyone elses' luggage overhead and quickly stashed my illegal amount overhead. operation success! i took my window seat, and waited to see who would be my flying neighbor. (let's remember last time it was chatty kathy, who even when i had my earphones in thought it was okay to couinue to tell long drawn out stories.)well i didn't have to wait long until i smelt him coming closer, and all i could do was pray he was going to keep walking... oh no, he plopped right next to me and was litterally breathing as if he just competed in the chicago marathon himself (yet had a body of a hearty chef). sometimes i exagerate, however not this time. NO EXAGERATION needed,he passed out cold within the first 10 minutes. This is great you're thinking... oh noooo..he not only had terrible hygine, but to make matters more interesting snored louder than my dad and grandpa combine with a terrible cold. if only i could say i put my headphones in and that was the end of it. the flight attendants voice came overhead, and before we knew it we were completely boarded, and about to arrive 45 minutes early, until... an engine issue. drool, odd stares from my surronding neighbors, and one hour later we were ready for lift-off. at this point i felt like the flight should be landing. and for the next 5 hours was confined to loud snick-ups, short deep grunts, and werid nose twitches. of course i got this on video, and immediately after i arrived in SFO, i knew i would have much rather had a chatter, than a stinky snorer. 
off to napa today. 
xoxo, 
simon